I’m gonna level with you. It’s just after midnight on the night before Smut Slam DC’s 5th birthday cabaret show, and I’ve been working all day on setting up my Patreon, writing a freebie short story for fans of my book, and putting the final touches on this website (well, this phase of it anyway). My eyeballs are about to bleed, y’all.

And I’m writing this because I have the patience of a toddler, and I am dying to post the link to this site to my Facebook like RIGHT NOW or at least before Mr. Darling coaxes me away from my desk for a way-too-late (yet somehow pandemic-appropriately-timed) dinner, but I am kind of obsessively perfectionist and I cannot bear the thought of sharing this site with a totally blank blog page or (gods forbid) that stupid “Hello world!” post that comes baked into WordPress.

So instead I’m writing a post that’s largely about nothing, because at least it’s in my voice and I’m tired enough that I might accidentally be hilarious and then we all win.

What shall we talk about, friends? Okay, how about this: Sean (that would be Mr. Darling) thinks that my Patreon video should absolutely be made by Cubbie, my tiger cub finger puppet who’s rather delightfully innocent except when he’s being an asshole to me. What do you think? I mean, the whole Patreon is pretty goddamn ridiculous in a way that’s on-brand for me, so it’s not like it’d be out of place if I did it.

(Have you checked out my Patreon? I had my writing group that I run tonight, and I read off the titles of my patronage tiers to them, and it made them all laugh a lot so I think my work here is done.)

You know what, you could probably make that decision more easily if you saw Cubbie in action. So that’s what I’m gonna do, I’m gonna link one of what I think are his best videos. Enjoy blowing off work for a few minutes: